[ Cling the spoons and smile ]

You bought me godiva milk-choco drink, & you said you're happy that I am.
You tell me, why are we ?

[ Fruit yogurt, Keep refrigerated ]

Work with buncha guys could really be intimidating. All they talk about, mostly, the next hot girls who popped in,or how much ciggarates can you puff in an hour, or who wears the best haivannas, or who's better in the game, or stuffs who never too far away from those. Depressing as it might sound, he's one of them, too. Except for the hot girls part, of course. because their hot means less clothing, please.

[ Won't you hang up ? ]

Work was shit ! Busy busy busy ! I was so wiped out I keyed in 22 diet coke light & troubled watson a lot of times with my stupid clumsiness. Despite all those crazily stupid mistakes, no one ever scolded me! That is very relieving! Even alvin, I like. My workplace is the coolest. & I didn't know they add another dollar per hour during weekends. That's just shit cool. Half of us are going new york new york next week, I think. & then you me would go lunch at hogs breath, you said. We make good friends, I guess. Let's just stay there then.

You know how I easy could I trip? As easy as snapping a finger. Remember how I fall for that slow smile with you having ciggar and drink on both of your hands? I guess, there are just too many ladies man. But it's all well and good, because I know at the end of the day, we won't make it pass through 5th. A lil spice won't hurt. Fret not though, I'll guard it with my life.

[ You'll realise when I want you to, hopefully]

It's been almost two weeks, hasn't it? Way too short for one to fall, but hey, I've read those books. Guess what they said? Life's too short for you to hold back. Then again, you know how most of the times, cupid will play around with you. I wish I would never have to give you another buts, but I really like. Like every time we passed by each other, I couldn't help to look and crumble when you didn't smile at me. Like I'll find reasons to get to your section. Like how I played it cool ( hopefully) on those chats, but how I wish deep inside we'd shut up for a while about the world and talk about what's inside my heart. Or, how I was mashed into pieces when everyone was talking about the girl who broke your heart & wondered why you never talk about her with me. Or, how you never put on any perfume or the sort but I'd still like to sniff your aura in. Look ma', I'm having a crush on him. Huge one, da'.

Been a hell of a day. I had a doctor telling someone close to me she has this huge curable disease & guess what was the first thing came up to my mind when I swiped all my salary on her medications that day because daddy has yet to print money? Shit, I'm going to need to pay a lot. Which made me feel like crap afterwards. How selfless can I get. Here it is, a person who's putting her life on the line with all these diseases & I'm talking about the wealth that I got from talking. It's just so crazy.

I'd never be a doctor. I hate doctors. How could they be so chilled when it's someone's life they are talking about ? Like hey, you're going to die please wait outside I'll make you a letter. Dude. Get a life. For all you know, your own damned children might have that, you won't be talking when it's your life you're talking about. I hate hospitals.

[ Hey bunny, who you callen' bunny? ]



It's 53 minutes passed twelve! Supper was GREAT! I guess I'm too much of a talker these days. I tell people, whoever wherever whenever, everything that's in my mind. I always end up having dry throat everytime I hit the bed. Anyway, I don't really care about it, now. & The egg is super cool, alright! It's like my pride and joy! I would probably kill him on the spot of he didn't appreciate it.It was all very brief & casual, though. No hint of flirting, no nothing, which is extremely good!

I was supposed to go for medical check up but, anyway, I'll have to go back there on the 5th. So I ended up going to Border & Far east. & guess what guess what guess what! JODI PICOULT HAS A NEW BOOK! fucking made my day ah dey. hahaha.Then that was one thing. Another was that I bought my long-awaited cheap ankle boots & even a 15-dollar dress plus new pair of earrings! This is dope shit, man. Like as if it's not enough, He asked to go for supper at night after his bible study !

Though all the hypes & happiness, I'm really sad about my maid. I hope she's okay! Okay! I'm going to work till 5th, maybe.

Last night I was tossing & turning on my bed with the same word constantly repeated itself back to back for hours in my head. I tried to push it to the back of my mind, but apparently there was nothing to put in front of it. Eventually I managed to hit the dreamland's zone. & then I woke up today feeling dejected because there was not any messages from him. Even the simple task of gettin out of the bed felt like it would take the energy to build a mountain which ironically I never want to hike. How I met your mother made me weep more than it made me laugh.

So, I ditched life. I made myself a glass of ice cappucino with my grandmother's home-made cake. I snuggled in my throw blanket and sit on my red chair and grab my book. It felt like I got sucked into the book, y'know. With all the wonderfullness & such, felt like I'm leading Nell's life. Then I closed my book, and stopped my life a while with tiger on my lap to think.

My life is nowhere near Nell's unbelievably terrific life. It's more than that. I'll have enough money by the end of this month inside my own account to buy a goddamned good camera.& wait, you have to hear the damned best part. It's all purely from my own sweat. Even if you filter it for 5 times you won't get to find any of my parents'. I got into my first choice course which, by the way, I worked my ass and fingers for. I have way better connections with my family members than I had a year ago, & we're thistight, all of us. My girlfriends are like angels sent from above. I could not even ask for a better circle of friends. & I'm perfectly healthy !

My life is so much better than I thought. I love life. & at least, he liked me.

[ Like back in highschool. Oh wait, I am ]

Sure. We'll have supper at jalan kayu on wednesday, after work. It will just be the two of us in the train all the way to serangoon with all other beings who wouldn't have anything to do with us. It will just be the two of us taking bus to jalan kayu talking about God knows what, with other men who are probably going home. & I'm crossing my fingers there wouldn't be no silences. It will just be the two of us eating supper at jalan kayu, eating my brother, with other people who probably just as hungry as we will be at that time of the day.

Great. I'm your supper buddy who would watch you eat with probably flipped stomach & a heart that beats so fast I would think my chest's going to explode. This will just be a secret you won't know. Makes me not want to quit at all.

Happy easter, everybody! So, I went to church in the morning, totally churched up now! & then headed to parkway parade because I had to send my maid and yada. I hope she passes the test, anyhoo. I mean, life would be so much easier with her around. Oh well.

Today was a totally bimbotic day. I spent dollar bills on trivial lil stuffs. Ohhhh, I know you're waiting for the instance! I finally bought my own earphone! did not come out the way I wanted it to, but well, I'll survive with it. Lots of accessories & a hanger for my toothbrush which I'm going to stick beside my bed so I'll remember to brush teeth before hitting the bed. Cool or dope. All these totally made me feel wayyyy better than the better-than-last night feeling I had when I woke up today. Life goes on yo'.

I'm having mask on my nose, now! with yoghurt on hand and stomp the yard on the line! After this I'm going to put on mask & then I'll bathe! yayyy! I'll sleep with 98.7 on! I won't feel awkward tomorrow, not the least bit. We'll talk & play like how we always do. Okay! cya! wouldnt wanna be ya!

You know what ? It's been lovely, sweetheart. But I guess, you just have to go & me? I'll just have to slap myself on the face & wake up.So, we'll stop here, I guess. I almost loved you & almost wished you'd love me too.You know what's weird? How my chest feels like there's nothing there but thorns & instead? instead my stomache feels like it's beating. I want to cry for this, but I'll be okay, I guess. Oh well. Shrugs. I hope I'll meet another you in poly (:

To mend my 1/4 broken heart, I'm going to have a quality time, tomorrow. I'll make freshy fresh lemonade! I'll get blueberry yoghurt! I'll put on mask! I'll spend half of the day tomorrow watching how I met your mother, or something inside the harddisk! I might even burn on aromateraphy in my room! Anything, I just want to feel satified despite the condition.

Work has been so great. Hogs breath is certainly the best place to start off. Wonderful colleagues, chefs, manager & operating manager. It makes work feels the least bit draggy. Especially the fact that I have sweet by my side 4/7 everyday! He's the sweetest candy God ever allowed me to bump to. One last apple pie before I'm gone to poly! fuh!

So, I went to sp with meme. It was HUGE! & my laptop was so goddamned heavy! rawr. Though so, one being was kind enough to lift up a burden for 15 minutes of so & sweet willingly volunteered to bring my laptop only that I didn't bring it to work. Oh well. I still have to go back there to submit my medical check-up results and to self-certificate my lousy laptop. &&&& my admin card disgustingly exists now, and I have to live with it for the next 3 years! Like, what was I thinking.

Went to visit sweet, today! & everyone was like coughing here and there! (grin) Then bought new wallet, new home for tuban, new home for cikoko, even new home for coins and key. I'm such a great great great owner.& then I couldn't stop being happy about the fact that I still have more ( in any sense that it could be) than all your potential gfs. That's like, you're so pathetic. Anyway, going shopping with baby girls tomorrow! yayyy!

Okay! I'm going to look at sweet's faces! Night!

Well, hello good morning earth!

I'm up very early. My new green clock says it's 5:28 AM right now! & I slept in my new cute pj last night! I prolly am going to have my breakfast soon; thai fried rice that I bought yesterday for my lunch + dinner. Anyone wants to go for early coffee ? Okay, maybe I'll ask around, like soon.

It's those little things, know? Like the way you take care of me. Or the way you stopped on your track yesterday and stood right smack besides me, & asked what's wrong & to tell you the truth of the truth. Or the fact that that you always say " it's okay" to every single silly mistake I've done. Or perhaps how you always have your way in making me happy everytime I see you, & how you always laugh at all clumsiness I've stumbled to or laugh at every single wrong word said without leaving me feeling embarrased. Yesterday, I get to the point finding hard to catch my breath just knowing you're there. then again, maybe today would be a different story. Story of my life.

Today's work been fun! very very very fun! Despite the fact that I could just turn to dust in one push because I'm still in my holiday mood. I always like night shifts. & this week night shifts will be filled with augs & chris! yay!

I was asked why was I so down. I was asked if I got dumped, but I left him with the conclusion I'm having my period. But I know why. Because ...

no one cares about what I want. No. I'm not getting all personal and touchy. But, really, just stop and stare and think. You been fair? Just because I'm the oldest girl doesn't mean I have to take care of every single thing you can't handle by yourself, ma. I need my own life. I don't want to let cindy went through what I had, but still, life is too short to be spent thinking.

Hello !

Everything's ready, I guess. I just have to drop poppy at Hailey's house & then make my way! I dread going Batam. It's always so .. messy. & I'm supposed to be the one in charge. All in all, I guess the shopping spree would compensate all. My mp3 isn't being in peace with me though. God damn you. I hope today would go smoother than yesterday. A hell of a day it was. Adding the fact, no one called me flower. hahahaha. Ox'll keep me all the flowers though & I bet Ox says that to every girls. hahahaha. Oh well, sometimes you can't hate the playa', it's how the game goes supposedly.


& I just remember, I'm going to have a date with my first & forever childhood can't-get-over crush when I'm there! woahhh! Alrighty! Adios santiagos laminos pabos krebanos cikokos tubos kreyos .... Alright. BYE! :D

Today was so hard to get through!

Got up at 7. Went out to make my POSB account. Like woahhh! I'm pretty much elated about it :D, & then, as I promised myself, I had hotcakes which I ditched halfway through because daddy asked me to go to parkway parade. Waited for a cab to appear for an hour or so, & I could have sworn the waiting was one of the damned moments in my life. It was raining, too. I thought I was going to cry until one showed up from my back. Like a hero, he saved me. & then, managed to be in work in time. Cashed out my cheque after work. & the rest of the day was filled with leap years & pasir ris.

Bye now. I really really have to pack. gahh. I hate going through Batams.

Pita got her first paycheck! & I'm very happy about it eventhough the amount isn't exactly big. Still, everyone in the staff room clapped and shook my hand when I said it's my very damned first paycheck. Woahhhhhh ! I'm going POSB tomorrow morning to make my own account! Hopefully, there wouldn't be much complications. Still, I'm over the moon! :D

We did go-around, again, today. & I'll have to be the flyer girl, again. It's much better though. Ox can never fail to make me laugh ( grin! ) First thing he did when he saw me today was shouting FLOWWEERRRR!! I'm going to miss the whole bunch of them :(

I've settled which hair color I want! I hope it'll turn out okay. & I have at least around 6 months to settle myself a good camera so I can buy it on the next IT fair which prolly will be towards the end of the year. I'll be 17, then, man. Woah ! :D

Your ignorance is remarkable. I want to eat hotcakes tomorrow morning!

Your lil friend down here was given cocktail, mocktail and white wine in one day because today's winnie's last day. Won't you people clap? gahh. I'm having stomachache, now. Crappy. On a brighter note, my first blushed seemed to work perfectly. Either that, or my colleagues are too generous with praises. " A flower for a flower" & " the beautiful girl has arrived". C'mon, who wouldn't be happy :D

I'm tired. I'm sick of the same routine that have been going on for as long as I could remember. Sure, each days just get better and better. & I guess, when you're on the top, the peak of your happiness. You want more, you want something different. Something crazy. Something out of this world. & I know I won't have such meaningless things because there're no good intention behind it. Even worse, it's ugly.

But, what a girl to do when nothing pleases her? Not even hots, not even a cup of green tea nor kisses from her fave furry being. She tries her best to satisfy herself.& when all that are to no avail, she gets sick. So sick, all she could see is herself living like a robot; eat, work, home.

This is boring. I need something new. I don't want yoll, that's just making me sound pathetic because yoll are a one-sec thing.

To that, let's sit down and snuggle up with cupcakes on hands.

Take a look at my sunshines. I am everything I am because you love me.

When you been replaced what seemingly to be the third time now by the same girl, some voices had to be knocked into your damn skull. That is; die die she better than you. Well well, if no one has yet to do that, I had. right? smirked. Look, even that bulldoggie feels for you.

Work was good! It was busy, of course. But it seemed to pass by faster because of the fun I had; both from serving friendly customers & from colleagues. 'Spite that, Edison the fucking hot was on one of the plasmas. I hope he's my boyfriend. Everyone loves bad boy, & his mistakes would always be forgiven because he's hot.

After work, we had lots of fries and 6 types of prime ribs. & coke for me, because pita is still underaged and listens to her mama. & after going around vivo times and again, I had my very first time ride on a bike. Fucking cool, my shizzle, detsjaz fo shizzle. Thank you ! :D